Its been six month since I lost my job as an appeals and grievance coordinator for SCAN Health Plan.   I honestly don’t know  happened , perhaps it was my fault , but having a bad coworker who gets away with everything makes you think , hey if there keeping this person , no matter what I do they will still keep me.  Boy was I wrong, I better, I should of handled the letter right away when I seen it , instead of playing dumb .  I was over whelmed with so much work and the toxic environment caused me to just be plain lazy.    I knew that this case was going to get me fired and it did. 

I am taking this termination as a sign that I should maybe change careers , time for a new beginning.   Jason said maybe I should look into going back to school and c complete my teaching credentials.   I got accepted into  a program with CSULB.   I start in September , however with me being out of work I have to figure out a way to pay for it .    Now Jason is bothering me about getting a job .  I am trying but it is so hard ,  I applied for everything in my field and even went to a job agency.    Jason is now telling me that he doesn’t think that I will make a good teacher and he keeps throwing job ideas at me .  

Honestly I truly do not want to go back to work, I just want to stay home , clean the house And volunteer at the school for the boys .   I just wish I could somehow when the lottery so I would not have to worry about money.

 This whole experience has left me feeling so depressed and I am now questioning my role as a Mother and wife.  

I feel that my husband is starting to dislike me, he is constantly teasing me and he tries to manage me and tells me I am not doing a good job.    I just wish everything was different.